Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins
1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: when 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.
3rd child: when 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That’s impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn’t, Teacher. I’m eight today.

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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY : No, I’m Billy Anderson.

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TEACHER: Didn’t you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don’t expect you to keep yours.

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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY : Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground then you are.

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HAROLD : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
TEACHER : Of course not.
HAROLD : Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

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TEACHER: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Don’s paper.
JOHN : I hope you didn’t either.

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GARY : I don’t think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it’s the lowest mark I can give you.

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MOTHER : Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR : Because of absence.
MOTHER : You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR : No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

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SILVIA : Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA : Your name on this report card.

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TEACHER: Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER : What’s that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn’t be cheating.

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TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY : You can’t fool me, Teacher… snakes don’t have feet.

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HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE : Don’t bite any.

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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
ELLEN : I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

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TEACHER: Max, use “defeat,” “defense,” and “detail” in a sentence.
MAX : The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.

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MOTHER : Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR : You said it was my lunch money.

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TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
SASHA : A new bike.

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TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER: (sadly)You don’t know your arithmetic.
VINCENT: (sadly)You don’t know my father

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TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

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BOY : Isn’t the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY : No.
GIRL: I’m the principal’s daughter.
BOY : And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY : Thank goodness!

HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without
her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four
basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

&

VIRUS Woman:
Also known as “WIFE”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t try to uninstall her you will lose everything…………